I will be responding here to an entry in my toy’s blog, since the response is much larger than the original passage.
My interest in BDSM began a few years ago, and it is part of the reason that I am writing my novel, openly, on the Net. In my novel which can be found, along with my autobiography, at Writing.com, I talk about my own self-destructive sexual behavior. You can also Google the word, novelvision, directly to see my story. In the novel, “Tommy,” my protagonist visits an Internet chathost, the evil Vicki. She has entranced him and he first goes to her under the theory that she can help him understand his abusive father, a drunk and a pussy slave, whose financial largesse to a whore kept Tommy hungry at night as a child. And now, Tommy, himself, finds that he is as horny as his father ever was. And it is all complicated by a childhood murder. This actual crime is the part that most will be most concerned about in all of my writing. This novel is based on my true story. The novel deals heavily with social ostracism and supposed mental illness. Yet there is reason to believe that Tommy was never psychotic and in need of antipsychotic medications. Rather, Tommy (yes, me!) may have actually been autistic, having the condition known as Asperger’s Syndrome. After the worst of all this midlife crisis stuff was over, I wrote the Food and Drug Administration and warned them that the medication that I had been on, mellaril, may have catapulted me permanently into hyper sexuality. Anyway, Tommy ticks off the beautiful Vicki, and this shrewd woman begins her vendetta to the death. For my novel is about the evil of life, itself –as seen by a modern day Arthur Schopenhauer with a jerk-off problem. I do hope that you will take a look. I would like to ask you about the motivations of Internet Dominatrices. And I know you have opinions about your clients. pqt
First of all, I’d like to clarify the definition of the term “Internet Dominatrix” that you have used. I prefer to use the term “Internet Mistress”, since “Dominatrix” normally refers to a professional dominatrix who provides an array of services that doesn’t have very much in common with the services the Internet Mistress provides, and which generally don’t entail the personal commitment on the part of a submissive that he would show to a Mistress.
I have had limited association with Internet Mistresses myself, so most of my opinion is based on what I have been told by submissives recounting their experiences.
The Internet Mistress is into controlling males, and she is sadistic. She may use a variety of brainwashing techniques to establish this control, and many of these are expected of her. Generally the relationship between the Mistress and the submissive will involve her demanding that he do increasingly humiliating things to demonstrate how deep his commitment to her is. She may do research to find out private details about his life to demonstrate the extent to which she will go to exert control over him. Eventually she will have him do things to himself on cam, which she will capture and use as blackmail material. Often the progression is to forced bisexuality, and the “goal” is for the submissive to pimp himself out and pay her the proceeds.
I say “goal” in quotes, because generally the submissive has actively sought out this formulaic series of demands and has come fully prepared to acquiesce, so she is really only facilitating what he was intending to happen.
A sufficient number of Internet Mistresses provide these services gratis that the would-be “submissive” often demands a large expenditure of time and effort on the part of his chosen Mistress on the grounds that she does these things because she loves doing them, and he is providing a service to her by giving her someone to do them to. Since the relationship usually ends with the initiation into bisexuality (or sooner), generally no money exchanges hands, so she is usually unpaid anyway.
I think that perhaps you are referring to a different type of Mistress, the “Internet Money Mistress”, who fills a narrow niche. She demands money from her “pay pigs” and heaps scorn and humiliation on them, calling them pathetic and unworthy of being in her presence. They pay big, at least in theory, but in reality, there are many more women portraying themselves as greedy bitches or spoiled princesses than there are men of means paying for the privilege of being in their (virtual) presence. Many of these women can be found doing this over the telephone, in other words, as phone sex.
Electrons are free, so you don’t have to hook a sucker very often to make the enterprise profitable. Appearance is everything, so most of these women keep blogs making outrageous claims about automobiles and other big-ticket items they say they have received, making money domination sound like a growth industry.
The most self-declaredly successful woman I know in this niche alternated between bragging about men who pay her hundreds or thousands of dollars in a month and worrying about whether she would need to move back in with her parents to keep from defaulting on her bills. She finally ended up getting a very vanilla job, which doesn’t make it sound like all that profitable an enterprise.
Compounding this is the fact that this is really just a fantasy to most men who find it enticing. In fact, most of them have no desire to make continuing payments to a Money Mistress after the phone call ends, or may leave a small tip as a tribute.
I will reiterate that this is all highly formulaic. It is mostly acting and knowing how to apply the formula to the willing male. There is very little creativity, flexibility, or intelligence required to declare oneself a Money Mistress or an Internet Mistress. And just as with any small business, there is no start-up requirement for business skills. So while there are some Money Mistresses who understand the fetish and occasionally make some good money from a well-heeled pay pig, there are many more who occasionally get phone calls from men who pay nothing more then the cost of the phone call.
While there are (probably) Internet Mistresses out there who are intelligent and creative, etc, the terms I hear over and over again are words like “crazy”. I see Internet Mistresses get hold of what might be valuable information and show their hand immediately, giving the intended recipient merely a heads-up on what she’s planning. I see Mistresses take actions to publicly humiliate submissives that will have the end effect of making less money available to her or prematurely ending the working relationship between the two of them.
So often it really is a situation of killing the goose that laid the golden egg. While a long-term relationship may ultimately provide her with more money, she may be so obsessed with manipulation, subterfuge, humiliation, and control to the exclusion of all else that she will compulsively take steps that go counter to her own interests.
Since this is exactly what the submissive is looking for, they are made for each other.