I understand that it’s tough being George Bush. Here he started us a glorious war for the honor of himself, his legacy, the Republican Party, and of course, God. And they’ve picked it away to nothing. Had to give up the religious crusade, the few Iraqis who welcomed us as “liberators” got murdered as collaborators. Now everybody’s saying that his series of excuses to invade Iraq in the first place were nothing but lies, and all those people died for nothing.
Don’t they understand how he has made sacrifices, too? Why, he gave up golf so mothers of dead soldiers and Marines wouldn’t see him playing while the war raged on. Well okay, he gave it up after they told him he ought to stop being seen having a blast when others were hurting. Well yeah, it happened right after that knee injury that caused him to also stop running. And the fact he was photographed golfing long after the event that supposedly caused him to give it up is just a little memory loss.
How fortuitous that a reporter happened to ask him outright if he had given up golf because of the war. Um, can you spell “PLANT”?
What to do about that pesky war, what to do, what to do? Shall we keep it going for generations, as Hillary and McCain have suggested? Can we “save” the world, and if we do, will there be anything left, especially of our own economy?
I have predicted almost since the beginning of this administration that history would judge Herr Bush harshly. But even before the end of his Presidency, historians have spoken: only 2% of professional historians responding to a Pew Research Foundation survey conducted through History News Network rank his Presidency a success. While the Prez himself is convinced that history will eventually conclude his has been a great leader, moral beacon, and the devil knows what else, these historians feel no need to cut him any slack. Story
I have been seeing too many of these videos lately lampooning Bush by quoting his own words, and it has reached critical mass. I had to share some of them with you. I found a pirated Daoly Show piece on YouTube like the last one, but interviewing Governor Bush and President Bush. Since putting copyright material on YouTube can result in it going poof at anytime, I decided not to embed it. With luck it will show up soon on the Daily Show website.
OK, so I was going to entitle this “The 50 Dumbest Things George W. Bush Has Ever Said”, like the original from which I am excerpting. But it occurred to me on reading it again that in fact, it’s really only the opinion of the author that these are the dumbest things he’s said. I’ve heard so many dumb things that didn’t make the list…
Unfortunately the literature of dumb things Bush has said is too vast to even make a dent in it with something less than a “500 of the dumbest things…” or “5000 of the dumbest things…” list. And lifetime achievement? 50,000 dumbest things? 500,000? If I started a list and allowed people to contribute, how long would the list grow to? And what really whacky quotes have been lost to posterity because nobody could figure out what he meant when attempting to link that noun and verb?
It’s really sad and embarrassing for our country that we have a President who continually spews nonsense from his mouth, whether or not people are listening. He should find this humiliating, but regardless of how many of us are laughing at him, he cannot, as he has no shame.
But laugh we must. Not only is it a matter of making lemonade with the lemons life allocates us, but hey, in times like this we need to laugh. Besides, god wouldn’t given us idiots like the President to laugh at if we weren’t supposed to laugh. If there is a god, then the current administration is god’s gift to comedy writers and bloggers with absurdist streaks, like me.
So, on to a few favorites of mine on the list:
47. “I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport.” –Washington, D.C., Oct. 3, 2001
44. “You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.” –interview with CBS News’ Katie Couric, Sept. 6, 2006
40. “Oh, no, we’re not going to have any casualties.” –discussing the Iraq war with Christian Coalition founder Pat Robertson in 2003, as quoted by Robertson
36. “Do you have blacks, too?” –to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001
33. “My plan reduces the national debt, and fast. So fast, in fact, that economists worry that we’re going to run out of debt to retire.” –radio address, Feb. 24, 2001
13. “I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we’re really talking about peace.” –Washington, D.C. June 18, 2002
3. “You work three jobs? … Uniquely American, isn’t it? I mean, that is fantastic that you’re doing that.” –to a divorced mother of three, Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005
Bush Gives Musharraf Tips on Eliminating Democracy
In what he described as “an emergency mission to help a key ally in the war on terror,” President George W. Bush flew to Islamabad today to give General Pervez Musharraf tips on how to eliminate democracy.
Mr. Bush said he scheduled the trip just hours after General Musharraf declared a state of emergency in Pakistan and suspended elections “because when it comes to eliminating democracy, I thought my friend Pervez could benefit from my experience.”
Speaking to reporters aboard Air Force One, Mr. Bush said that while he commended General Musharraf’s impulse to eliminate democratic institutions, he felt that the military strongman was going about it the wrong way: “When you’re getting rid of democracy, the last thing you want to do is tell people you’re doing it.”
FEMA’s most notable response to the wildfires has been to stage a fake news conference with 15 minutes of notice, and when no reporters showed up (surprise, surprise!), plant FEMA employees to pose as reporters and ask the questions that FEMA wants to answer.
“We can and must do better, and apologize for this error in judgment,” FEMA deputy administrator Harvey Johnson, who conducted the briefing, said in a statement.”
Error in judgment?
But with no reporters on hand and an agency video camera providing a feed carried live by some television networks, FEMA press employees posed the questions for Johnson that included: “Are you happy with FEMA’s response so far?”
According to Friday’s Post account, which Walker confirmed, Johnson replied that he was “very happy with FEMA’s response so far.”
Clearly, so is President Bush.
A spokeswoman for Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, who has authority over FEMA, called the incident “inexcusable and offensive to the secretary.”
