05.05.08
Could we make it any clearer, SIR!
04.04.08
61% of Historians agree: Bush worst President ever
I have predicted almost since the beginning of this administration that history would judge Herr Bush harshly. But even before the end of his Presidency, historians have spoken: only 2% of professional historians responding to a Pew Research Foundation survey conducted through History News Network rank his Presidency a success. While the Prez himself is convinced that history will eventually conclude his has been a great leader, moral beacon, and the devil knows what else, these historians feel no need to cut him any slack.
Story
01.20.08
President Bush pardons himself against potential warcrimes
Do you think the President should be able to pardon himself and the rest of his administration for crimes they have committed?
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01.15.08
Scott Ritter: Do we need to attack Iran?
He pretty much covers all the bases here, debunking all the arguments we’ve been given. Stop demonizing them, Bush. They are no threat to us.
I couldn’t have said it better myself. Listen to the expert speak.
If you behave as though you are demonically possessed, George, people will think you are. Do you care? And more importantly, are they right?
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11.22.07
George Bush, in his own words
I have been seeing too many of these videos lately lampooning Bush by quoting his own words, and it has reached critical mass. I had to share some of them with you. I found a pirated Daoly Show piece on YouTube like the last one, but interviewing Governor Bush and President Bush. Since putting copyright material on YouTube can result in it going poof at anytime, I decided not to embed it. With luck it will show up soon on the Daily Show website.
11.11.07
50 of the dumbest things Bush has said
OK, so I was going to entitle this “The 50 Dumbest Things George W. Bush Has Ever Said”, like the original from which I am excerpting. But it occurred to me on reading it again that in fact, it’s really only the opinion of the author that these are the dumbest things he’s said. I’ve heard so many dumb things that didn’t make the list…
Unfortunately the literature of dumb things Bush has said is too vast to even make a dent in it with something less than a “500 of the dumbest things…” or “5000 of the dumbest things…” list. And lifetime achievement? 50,000 dumbest things? 500,000? If I started a list and allowed people to contribute, how long would the list grow to? And what really whacky quotes have been lost to posterity because nobody could figure out what he meant when attempting to link that noun and verb?
It’s really sad and embarrassing for our country that we have a President who continually spews nonsense from his mouth, whether or not people are listening. He should find this humiliating, but regardless of how many of us are laughing at him, he cannot, as he has no shame.
But laugh we must. Not only is it a matter of making lemonade with the lemons life allocates us, but hey, in times like this we need to laugh. Besides, god wouldn’t given us idiots like the President to laugh at if we weren’t supposed to laugh. If there is a god, then the current administration is god’s gift to comedy writers and bloggers with absurdist streaks, like me.
So, on to a few favorites of mine on the list:
47. “I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport.” –Washington, D.C., Oct. 3, 2001
44. “You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.” –interview with CBS News’ Katie Couric, Sept. 6, 2006
40. “Oh, no, we’re not going to have any casualties.” –discussing the Iraq war with Christian Coalition founder Pat Robertson in 2003, as quoted by Robertson
36. “Do you have blacks, too?” –to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001
33. “My plan reduces the national debt, and fast. So fast, in fact, that economists worry that we’re going to run out of debt to retire.” –radio address, Feb. 24, 2001
13. “I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we’re really talking about peace.” –Washington, D.C. June 18, 2002
3. “You work three jobs? … Uniquely American, isn’t it? I mean, that is fantastic that you’re doing that.” –to a divorced mother of three, Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005
11.05.07
Which Constitution did you swear to uphold, Mr. Bush?
Bush Gives Musharraf Tips on Eliminating Democracy
In what he described as “an emergency mission to help a key ally in the war on terror,” President George W. Bush flew to Islamabad today to give General Pervez Musharraf tips on how to eliminate democracy.
Mr. Bush said he scheduled the trip just hours after General Musharraf declared a state of emergency in Pakistan and suspended elections “because when it comes to eliminating democracy, I thought my friend Pervez could benefit from my experience.”
Speaking to reporters aboard Air Force One, Mr. Bush said that while he commended General Musharraf’s impulse to eliminate democratic institutions, he felt that the military strongman was going about it the wrong way: “When you’re getting rid of democracy, the last thing you want to do is tell people you’re doing it.”
10.27.07
“Bush touts federal response to wildfires”
Umm… I guess somebody’s got to say it.
Excuse me???!!!
FEMA’s most notable response to the wildfires has been to stage a fake news conference with 15 minutes of notice, and when no reporters showed up (surprise, surprise!), plant FEMA employees to pose as reporters and ask the questions that FEMA wants to answer.
FEMA’s fake press conference: are you surprised? (Crooks and Liars)
US agency apologizes for news conference on fires (Reuters)
This is something to be proud of?
“We can and must do better, and apologize for this error in judgment,” FEMA deputy administrator Harvey Johnson, who conducted the briefing, said in a statement.”
Error in judgment?
But with no reporters on hand and an agency video camera providing a feed carried live by some television networks, FEMA press employees posed the questions for Johnson that included: “Are you happy with FEMA’s response so far?”
According to Friday’s Post account, which Walker confirmed, Johnson replied that he was “very happy with FEMA’s response so far.”
Clearly, so is President Bush.
A spokeswoman for Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, who has authority over FEMA, called the incident “inexcusable and offensive to the secretary.”
Yeah, sucks they got caught, doesn’t it?
10.25.07
A tale of the beyond
Beyond death, there is Heaven, and there is Hell, or so believers say.
They say that if you force yourself to believe in ‘God’, you would save yourself from ‘Hell’, just in case precisely such a vengeful god were to exist.
But how would you choose which sect to believe in? None of the thousand or more ‘Christian’ sects on earth believes that what the followers of any other are believing in or doing is good enough. So would it be good enough for the god they worship or not?
Should not a prudent person just choose the christian sect with the most terrifying hell?
Or is that narrowing it down too far? Do we have any reason to believe that of all the millions of discrete religions that have ever existed, one is more probable to be True and Right than any of the others?
Me, I don’t believe. But imagine if each person’s own heaven and hell were not just a figment of his or her imagination, but as real as that of the person on either side, and as real as reality itself.
For believers, these will be a reality. They will not just die, they will pass on, or be raptured. When they come to the head of the line at the Pearly Gates, their misdeeds will be subtracted from their good deeds. Perhaps at that point their own judgment will coincide with that of St. Peter, or whoever or whatever is to pass judgment on them. But then again, perhaps not.
Strike a deal with the Devil? Go right ahead. If you believe in the Devil, you can do that. But he will collect…
Comes The End
There is always a beginning, of course, but we will not worry ourselves about that. There are always so many different starting points. Did my life begin with conception? With birth? Or did it begin when the unique DNA classifiable as ‘human’ first resulted from some random mutation in a single egg cell or sperm?
The end is much clearer. When things come together, we watch them happen, although we are often powerless to react, as in a dream.
Was it ever all a dream, and if so, how did any of it become reality?
The gray mist lifts up from the dank earth, rising to meet the sweet, acrid smoke drifting from the censer. It dances in the breeze, seemingly forming shapes, then as quickly dissipating, before you can say just what those shapes might be.
The flames of the candles flicker, barely lighting the scene.
On this night the dead will walk the earth again, unseen.
The chanting begins, as of old. Perhaps it is authentic, perhaps not. But it has always been good enough to wreak its magic and begin the casting of the spells, the incantation, the invocation of the unholy.
We can see them, the two men, one larger and one smaller. They are wearing dark robes. They raise their hands as they chant, wave with purpose. You can feel the energy growing as the volume of their chant increases.
There is an altar and a sacrificial knife, but you see no tribute, no offering, no victim. There are bejeweled golden goblets of wine on the altar, waiting to be…what?
We see a point of light form at the center of the altar, beginning like the dot of red light of a laser pointer, growing in size, larger, until it is a large ball hovering over the altar. Amorphous in shape, it pulsates. Finally it coalesces, shrinks, and takes the form of a being—Beelzebub himself.
The Devil looks down and speaks to the smaller man. “What is this?” he says, pointing at the wine. “Where is the virgin you were going to sacrifice to me? And what is this wine? That’s supposed to be blood in the goblets.” He points again at the goblets, and they tip over, spilling their contents.
“I think you’re not taking your part of the bargain seriously. I’ve come through with what you needed, and now you’re backing down. I think I should just take back all I gave you and leave.”
The small man starts to bluster and bluff. Satan looks down on him and laughs. “Your time is up, little man. You never did intend to follow through on your promises, did you? But then they never do,” he said, talking to no one in particular.
“Now I will collect,” he says, snapping his fingers. In a white glow, the girl, the man’s daughter, appears on the table, naked, terrified. She then disappears, dissolving into a mist. “She is mine.”
“You can’t do that!” screams the little man.
“Ah, but so I can,” hisses Satan. “You have failed to fulfill your part of the bargain. You have grown increasingly arrogant. Your hubris astounds even me.”
He puts his hands on his hips, inasmuch as a glowing red spirit in the shape of a devil can. “But I always knew you would do this. That was part of the deal, too. It was never up to you. You only deluded yourself into thinking you were able to strike a bargain, that you had free will.”
Now the red glow dissolves and again forms a cloud, then a cyclone. Whirling around, it touches down on the head of the larger man and vanishes within him. He speaks. “It never was up to you. Everything has always been up to me. I knew what I wanted and I had you offer it to me. I knew full well I would win in the end.”
The small man says, “But, but…”
The big man cuts him off. “You’re a fool. Did you really think you could get into heaven with the help of the Devil? I could take you now, but I don’t need to. When you wake up, you will realize that you are the fool of the Nation and the world. Your power is gone. This is your fate.”
The small man whimpers, “You are possessed by Satan.”
Cheney laughs. “You don’t get it, do you? Why would I be possessed by the Devil? I am the Devil.”
The evil laughter echoes through the forest, and the small man sinks to the ground, feeling truly impotent and alone for the first time in his life.
Not impeach Bush?
Rosa Brooks of the LA Times has finally come out with it. It’s too late to impeach President Bush and Vice-President Cheney. We can no longer say that the damage is done, and we can wait them out. It is not—they are nowhere near done destroying everything great and good about this country—and we can’t wait any longer.
Both of them are certifiably insane. They are preparing us to go to war with yet another country, as though the last two wars would somehow be won by magically involving us in a third. And not only that, but Bush has already declared that he will start World War III if Iran does not give up its nukes.
Anybody who is both in a position to start World War III and says they will do so clearly needs to be locked up for their own safety as well as ours.
In Washington, the appropriate statutory law is already in place: If a “court or jury finds that [a] person is mentally ill and . . . is likely to injure himself or other persons if allowed to remain at liberty, the court may order his hospitalization.”
My opinion? Bush is planning on involving all of the Middle East in a holy war which will trigger the End Times. Armageddon. This is more than a crusade. He’s decided to destroy the world.