12.28.06
The wonderful world of modern telecom services
My apologies in advance, as this does run long, and is a little bit confusing. I’m confused myself, and so are they, so spread the joy. I think it’s interesting and worth reading, and I think you will, too, especially if you have animosity towards giant impersonal utilities.
So I use a lot of telecom services. It’s a hazard of the business, especially when you’re an independent and you use a company like Niteflirt that will only allow you to open three accounts using one phone number. If you want more accounts, you have to get more phone numbers.
It’s also true that you have to hope and pray at that point that nobody has ever used the new phone number you’ve got previously on Niteflirt, which would mean you can’t. I understand they have a reason that they think is really good for making this requirement, but they just haven’t explained it so than more than one person at a time can understand what that purpose is.
It’s also hard to believe that they would tell potential customers, “Go away and change your phone number or we don’t want your business.” But I suppose it’s possible I just don’t think like a potential customer. Perhaps potential customers are excited, turned on, thrilled by the idea of calling their favorite telecom giant and changing their home phone number so they can call a particular phone sex service, then explaining to their wives why this was necessary. But maybe not.
Oh, well. I don’t want to get too far off topic here at the beginning of a targeted rant.
This is about the phone company - Verizon in particular - and my current issues with them. This is seriously farkled, and it’s confused, as we have talked so many times, and each time the murk grows murkier.
It has happened before that I’ve needed to add services in order to get calls the way I do. The summer before last my company put three Niteflirt accounts on my home phone number, which means I can’t use it for Niteflirt any more. So first I got a distinctive ring, then another line, then another distinctive ring. Then last summer, when I was working for that direct dial company, I added a third line with a distinctive ring, so that I could receive calls from them without discontinuing my Niteflirt capabilities. The people at Verizon almost talked me into consolidating my telecommunications services with them - landlines, cells, Internet - to get a steep discount, but the procrastinator I am, I didn’t go for it. I’d heard people had service issues dealing with giant megacorps handling their accounts, so I wasn’t sure it was the right way to go.
Mind you, I had had a cell phone with AT&T then Cingular, which I also received calls on for three of my accounts. Last May I went on vacation and got a prepaid cell in order to receive calls out of my area without roaming charges. So we’re talking five lines and eight incoming numbers at this point.
Mistake number one. OK, I missed the bill. Early in the evening I received an automated call on all lines saying that they had completed my long distance service order. Of course, this happened after hours, so the only information I could get was from the automated voice telling me I owed money. I paid, but there was nobody to talk to.
I was not receiving calls from Niteflirt, as my distinctive ring lines were disabled. There was some issue going on with my prepaid cell, so I couldn’t use that. I switched my other lines to my regular cell, one of the old type, which was dying anyway.
Next morning I called into put in an order to restore my services, including long distance and caller ID. The services I was currently receiving were no longer the services I needed, as I don’t do that direct dial anymore. I told them this and they first transferred me to a different department, where the guy looked up my service. He was confused, but it is, after all, rather confusing. I wanted to eliminate one line, and switch its distinctive ring number to my home phone. He looked up that number, which I didn’t have handy, and I wrote it down. Then I was transferred into oblivion. I called, got the machine that won’t send you to a human unless you scream at it for a long time, and was given to a woman who was rather rude to me. She said the services would not be restored for 24 hours. I guess that’s some kind of punishment they give you for paying your bill late, as I know they have the capability to fix it. Nope, nothing could/would be done for me. Dont’ call back. I called Cingular to get my prepaid phone straightened out, and went to the Cingular store to trade my cell in for a new red razer with a brand new contract. I switched over my other lines to the prepaid.
Next morning, none of my services had been restored, and I called Verizon again. The nice lady explained that it was my fault for trying to change my services at the same time as restoring them. Mistake number two. She looked up my account and found that I now had a distinctive ring on one line that was a brand new number, apparently assigned at random. The other number, the one I had expected to be given, was in fact a mistake, and belonged to someone else. We figured out what number I was supposed to have. Now she told me that it was probably too late to get this straightened out for the holiday weekend. Argh! But she would try.
The next time I got an automated message that my order was complete was the last time my business phone has rung. I can hear my other phone ringing in the bathroom when it’s on high and the door is open, but the business phone does not ring for Niteflirt calls. I finally dialed all the numbers I’ve had or am supposed to have, and found I have three numbers ringing to my home phone line - one of them the number I wasn’t supposed to have. Hopefully removing that number will make my business phone work again…?
Now for the fun part. Last night I received a call from a Verizon surveyor, calling to check and see whether my recent order was completed courteously and correctly. I laughed, and she said, “Everybody laughs…” At the end of the survey I had the opportunity to say whatever I wished, and I tried to explain my current situation, part of which involves being afraid to call for help lest it makes things worse. She didn’t really understand the particulars. Too complicated. She also didn’t understand how I was able to laugh about it. I just think if I made a movie about this it would have to be a comedy.
After the holiday I waited two working days to make sure there were no orders pending. I called this morning. The nice lady decided to start with a piece of paper and build my account from scratch. She will get the correct lines installed and configured so I can at least receive calls on all lines. Then tomorrow, she will call me back, so we can discuss such complicated things as caller ID and long distance.
Why am I so tempted to go all wireless?
