Another NSFW blog
For the most part these are hilarious. Read them and weep. Studies have shown that when a guy approaches a woman in a bar, he blows it completely and ends up looking like an arrogant fool. Only when the woman makes the first move does the guy have any hope of getting anywhere.
1-888-282-3089
$2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum
Have your credit or debit card ready when you call.
Better watch out when your mate is acting, um, catty.
1-888-282-3089
$2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum
Have your credit or debit card ready when you call.
They hired one or more strippers—nothing new there. But the guys were doing a lot of heavy drinking, and were behaving in what can only be described as an “uninhibited” manner. Then came the time for the stripper to put on her strap-on and the groom-to-be to go on the stage with her and…
Hmm, that’s a tradition I hadn’t heard of before. The groom didn’t want to do it, so the best man got up on the stage, pulled down his pants to his knees, got on all fours in front of her, and don’t you know, she used that strap-on on him!
Not sure why he was surprised, but now he’s claiming she raped him. You be the judge.
1-888-282-3089
$2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum
Have your credit or debit card ready when you call.
Sylvie emailed me to tell me about a loser who called her to let her know what a pathetic fucking loser he is. He wouldn’t want us to think he was just a garden variety loser, now would he?
He’s got a webpage that his mistress put up on her site for him, and he’s trying to get it traffic so that complete strangers can look at all the silly and humiliating things he’s done—and been willing to have documented on the web. Of course, they won’t be strangers any more after they’ve seen all these pictures and his real name and photos. Well, who knows? Maybe somebody who knows him will get hold of the story. (Laughing…)
So if you send somebody an email about this, make sure you have a link. And stress that they should copy him to any emails. This is multi-level marketing we’re doing here. Multi-level loser marketing?
Just a little update here: our loser called ME to ask permission to beg his Mistress to take down the page before he got into any more trouble than he’s already in. I told him no. It’s ok if he calls again and begs me. And maybe offers me a tribute. That might help me change my mind…
1-888-282-3089
$2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum
Have your credit or debit card ready when you call.
When you work for yourself, there’s always somebody who wants you to work for free. It’s a new idea for people like this that you should get paid for your services. Do they work for free? Not a snowball’s chance in hell. But since they don’t understand the concept, they have to keep looking. They’re sure it’s going to start happening sooner or later.
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1-888-282-3089
$2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum
Have your credit or debit card ready when you call.
Whoohoo, had a call on my foot and shoe fetish line from a guy who asked me at the 6 minute mark if I would let him cum. Mind you, at this point he had already put money in his account twice, which kind of makes him a cheap wanker, doesn’t it?
OH, NOEZ! NO CANZ DOEZ!
He kept putting more and more money in his account, until he finally swore he’d had enough and wasn’t going to call me anymore, regardless of how tightly he felt trapped by my silky voice, and how I pushed his buttons.
Telling him I owned him, he was just a piece of my property, and calling him my foot bitch. All these things elicited gasps and moans from him. After 46 minutes he ran out of money and did not recharge his account.
Did not recharge his account right away, that is. He called back about 15 minutes later and stayed on for 11 minutes that time.
Silly boy. I own you. You are mine. It is not up to you.
1-888-282-3089
$2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum
Have your credit or debit card ready when you call.
for every time a caller told me he would do whatever I wanted him to do, I wouldn’t be wealthy, but I sure could treat myself to something nice.
When the vanilla guy says this, it’s along the line of “I’m into everything”, which is clearly not the case. Most guys think they’re incredibly kinky, when in fact they’ve got one or two minor kinks and are basically pretty vanilla.
Once in a while a caller will tell me he’d like us to talk about some other guy’s fantasy – maybe the last guy I spoke with. Or the one I dread, “What’s the hottest fantasy you ever heard?” I try to figure out what he’s into, because a lot of the stuff I talk about is so off-the-wall that hardly anybody else could relate to it.
And of course there’s the Mistress call, where the guy tells me he’ll do anything I want, with no limits. Was he willing to turn his cam on the sink and wash dishes naked for me? Noooo…
Well, dammit, that’s what I wanted! How dare you defy your Mistress!
(Laughing at the losers)
I’m an entertainer. Give me half a clue what you want and I can do it for you. But don’t tell me you’ll really do “anything” for me, because you won’t…
1-888-282-3089
$2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum
Have your credit or debit card ready when you call.
Or maybe they’re crawling out from under rocks and logs.
One customer called twice today with a bizarro fantasy that he had inserted himself upside-down in a clear plastic tube to get my attention, and now was stuck there as some other women and I laughed at him for two minutes each time.
Then I received an email from loser number 2.
From: loser Subject: Can we talk? Date: 3/31/2007 2:06 PM
In complete honesty,
Loser
I replied:
To: loser Subject: Re: Can we talk? Date: 3/31/2007 2:42 PM
Loser,
We can talk. But I will expect you to admit to me your flaws in excruciating detail.
Looks like that education didn’t do all that much for your social skills, eh?
The Principal
So he called. He revealed to me what a loser he is in great detail, telling me it started when his sister caught him with some porn when he was 12 and blackmailed him mercilessly, eventually having him do favors for all her girlfriends, while they laughed at him.
Laughter? I’m good at that. I fired up my webpage of recordings of myself laughing and started to click on it. The boy went into a trance. After a while, I stopped to check on him. Groggy, he told me that even he had never before realized the depths of his worthlessness. I told him he was a pathetic fucking loser piece of shit, and started the laughter up again. A while later I heard the recorded voice come on that tells you the call is over.
When I checked in my account I found this:
3/31/2007
I have never been laughed at so hard, I creamed my panties
Close enough.
1-888-282-3089
$2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum
Have your credit or debit card ready when you call.
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