Another NSFW blog
Tiger Woods edition.
Based, of course, on the Tiger Woods scandal and the degeneracy of men in general.
My favorite is this one:
56. …or in the Principal’s office?
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For the most part these are hilarious. Read them and weep. Studies have shown that when a guy approaches a woman in a bar, he blows it completely and ends up looking like an arrogant fool. Only when the woman makes the first move does the guy have any hope of getting anywhere.
1-888-282-3089
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Have your credit or debit card ready when you call.
I guess I haven’t received too many stupendously dumb emails in a while. For this one it was necessary to bring back this feature.
From: Dumb customer
Subject: GUIDED MASTURBATION
Date: 4/6/2009 3:55 PMPrincipal Quattrano,
I have received a letter from your office instructing me to be at your office this afternoon. The letter says that I must email you & confirm our appointment. I am doing that now! In the letter I am told you will be completing my detention and I will be required to MASTURBATE for you following your STROKING directions. I am to stand in front of you and JACK OFF for you into a bowl and then rub my CUMMM all over your tits. Permission to report for appointment???
Dumb Customer – FYI I measure 11 inches by 4 inches, with a bulging cock head! What do U say???
Obviously he doesn’t read, thinking his cock speaks louder than words. Therefore he (like so many males) thinks that if they say they have a large cock, a woman, even a dominant woman like me, will be really, really impressed. And, like, want to speak with him on the phone very badly, as if having a big, hard cock improves a male’s communication skills.
What part of ‘dominate’ do you not understand, dumb customer?
To: Dumb Customer
Subject: Re: GUIDED MASTURBATION
Date: 4/6/2009 6:15 PMYou misread the message. You are to report to the Office of the School Nurse for castration immediately.
The Principal
From: Dumb Customer
Subject: Re: GUIDED MASTURBATION
Date: 4/6/2009 7:04 PMPrincipal Quatranno,
Begging to report to your office 1st & MASTURBATE TO YOUR PLEASURE in hopes that I may not be sent to the Nurse! I will perform to your specifications!!! Please let me have 1 chance to be your weekly JACK OFF BOY! If it’s not to your liking, you can always send me to the nurse! I will obey all your stroking instructions!!! If it pleases you I would love to worship any part or parts of you while I JACK OFF for you! Please let me know!
Respectfully,Your JACK OFF BOY,
Dumb Customer
To: Dumb Customer
Subject: Re: GUIDED MASTURBATION
Date: 4/6/2009 7:09 PMVery well. It is clear you will not be able to function properly until you are drained. Report to My office immediately.
The Principal
Did I expect him to call? No, the only time he has ever called me was a year and a half ago for 3 minutes. But it was fun playing with him. And writing him up over it, too.
There is no shortage of boys out there who appear to be eager to serve as bad examples.
1-888-282-3089
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This was brought to my attention by our very own School Nurse Svetlana, who is so diligent about finding us more reasons to control and dominate you, for your own good, of course.
The fact is that you boys have proven over and over again that you are simply not capable of acting in a responsible manner. That’s why they have sent you to us in the first place, of course. But you work so hard to keep us from forgetting and actually thinking you might be making progress.
To put it simply, you have proven you are not capable of using your penis responsibly, and we can never permit you to exercise any control over it again.
The unfortunate fact is that males are intellectually lower on the evolutionary ladder than females. They serve the purpose of being drones. They are sperm donors, inferior, and can only amount to anything when they acknowledge female superiority and accede to control by us and other dominant women like us.
While not all females are superior to all males, the fact is that certain males seem to have been put on this planet to serve as bad examples for all. He really is inferior to females of just about every species.
1-888-282-3089
$2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum
Have your credit or debit card ready when you call.
As far as males go, you just have to crack a whip over their heads to keep them honest.
At least that’s what it seems like when reading this story. Apparently employees at the National Science Foundation were too busy viewing porn, doing cam-2-cam shows and everything else else adult entertainment to do any real work. So many clichés come to mind, from “foxes running the henhouse” to “your tax dollars at work”.
It appears that a number of studies were done, but not much came of it besides some internet filters. Wasn’t anybody fired? Why weren’t they sent to the Gold Star Academy of Discipline? That’s the real fix for this situation.
We could even straighten out the SEC. Ask your employer if there’s a program that’s right for you today!
1-888-282-3089
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For better or worse.
It looks like a lot of the innovations we take for granted were invented for the purpose of propagating the sex biz on the internet. Who’d'a thunk that such innovation was for the sole purpose of harnessing the energy of horny guys?
But after all, the internet is for porn.
1-888-282-3089
$2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum
Have your credit or debit card ready when you call.
In yet another incredible story, a former Verizon apparently tapped into the lines of about 950 Verizon customers to make 5,000 calls to a 900 chat line for a total of 45,000 minutes.
Apparently he thought none of those customers would notice an extra $231 charge on his or her phone bill. They did.
But the kicker is that the phone sex line he called cost $5 a minute. $5 a minute?!? Like, what a ripoff! I charge less than half that much, and I bet I give lots better phone. Try me.
1-888-282-3089
$2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum
Have your credit or debit card ready when you call.
Somebody’s earned himself a spanking…
1-888-282-3089
$2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum
Have your credit or debit card ready when you call.
Red String Bikini Hack – For more funny movies, click here
1-888-282-3089
$2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum
Have your credit or debit card ready when you call.
I’ve had a Cybertwin on my main page for quite a while now. I thought it would be cool to try to program it to respond to inquiries as I might, take messages, and suggest to chatters how they might actually contact me. But unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to have worked out quite that way.
In spite of the fact that I have put a long disclaimer that this is not really me and is for entertainment purposes only, most chatters seem to think that it really is me they are chatting with.
For some reason, Cybertwin keeps reprogramming her to respond as they think a Cybertwin ought to, so I run into some really goofy responses that are anything but something I would write or say.
In addition, they seem to have something in there to prevent you from telling people how to contact you. It’s not just that I can’t put my email address in, and probably neither can they, but I’m also prevented from telling them they can contact me by filing in a form on my website, which is, like RIGHT THERE. And the bot comes up with an “Is that your email?” response to completely unrelated statements all the time.
Do you think any of these chatters could actually figure out how to send me an email themselves? Nooo….
So she’s going to be phased out in the next release, which will hopefully be happening pretty soon.
But meanwhile, omg the dumbass that tried to get her to cyber with him yesterday. Regardless of how many times she told him she was a bot, a piece of software, a collection of electrons, he kept trying to get her to talk dirty. Can you say “lower form of life”?
Irrespective of the fact that his handle is ‘corey’. it’s clear to me that English is not his first language, though he’d swear up and down it was if a real person tried to challenge that. I met so many of these types on Paltalk who think that English is super-easy and anybody can be faked out, especially Western women who are invariably stupid, gullible, and easy.
It’s really long, but you have the whole thing to enjoy. Just like corey, who kept coming back for more. And the bot’s not even programmed to humiliate, he had to do that all by himself.
1-888-282-3089
$2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum
Have your credit or debit card ready when you call.
Bad Behavior has blocked 12 access attempts in the last 7 days.
