He knew he’d been a bad boy, too. He had cheated on his girlfriend.
He was into pain, a real pain slut, and he knew that his soul could only be cleansed by a good whooping.
Most of the guys who call me are looking for roleplay, not reality. But if they are looking for it, who am I to deny it? Besides, those moans are so satisfying.
His implement of choice was a barbecue spatula with sharpish edges. He struck himself enthusiastically on command, and the pain was accompanied by moans or screams. I asked if he had ever wetted down his skin before striking himself before, and as he had not, I sent him to get himself a wet sponge.
That worked out so well that he broke the spatula. I guess he’ll be buying a new one for the next spanking.
You can call me!
1-888-282-3089 $2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum Have your credit or debit card ready when you call.
Yes, indeed. The fact is, we all look around us helplessly, uncomprehending the enormity of the economic cataclysm we see ourselves in, and we ask, “What can I do? What meaningful sacrifice can I make?”
All I can do is to quote a bit from Lily Tomlin, but completely out of context.
The answer is so simple I am surprised even you did not think of it.
The answer is phone sex. Spending money on phone sex puts it right into the hands of other workers like yourself, who will spend it at retail establishments, resulting in more employment and more Americans with disposable income. People will buy houses and durable goods, the stock market will rise.
You should in fact spend more on phone sex now, as much as you can possibly afford. Phone sex is the glue that will bind us together as a nation in a new prosperity.
You can call me!
1-888-282-3089 $2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum Have your credit or debit card ready when you call.
The article calls them “ridiculous” fetishes, but people who work for Cracked don’t seem to have any understanding of what fetishes are about. They are so vanilla they probably don’t even get what people like about chocolate ice cream.
Just enjoy, and if you enjoy it too much, give me a call. I am available for counseling sessions to help you work through your issues. Or maybe I will just seize on the opportunity to use them to control and manipulate you. That’s 1-888-282-3089 and ask for “Goddess”. Have your credit or debit card in your hand when you make the call.
In yet another incredible story, a former Verizon apparently tapped into the lines of about 950 Verizon customers to make 5,000 calls to a 900 chat line for a total of 45,000 minutes.
Apparently he thought none of those customers would notice an extra $231 charge on his or her phone bill. They did.
But the kicker is that the phone sex line he called cost $5 a minute. $5 a minute?!? Like, what a ripoff! I charge less than half that much, and I bet I give lots better phone. Try me.
Well! A young male was sent to my office for not doing his homework. He begged me not to spank him, but he knew that only a severe punishment would have an effect on his behavior. And I certainly know that disciplinary measures work best when the miscreant can’t sit without pain for the next week.
I spanked his bare bottom until it had nice, warm red stripes on it. Wasn’t that fun!
You can call me!
1-888-282-3089 $2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum Have your credit or debit card ready when you call.
For those of you out there reading this: put down the coffee. Swallow whatever is in your mouth before you start listening to this video. And above all, turn your face away from the keyboard.
You can call me!
1-888-282-3089 $2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum Have your credit or debit card ready when you call.
A very bad boy came into my office today. He had a history, you see. A while back he’d been caught sucking cock repeatedly, and finally he’d been sent to the horse farm where there were no males, only cruel dommes. But somehow he’d managed to get caught…
Had to interrupt the story at this point, since such things can’t happen in the realm of Niteflirt. But it turns out it was time to make a change in the educational trajectory of this bad boy. We transferred him into the cocksucking track. From now on he would be taking instruction from myself and the (very male) sports coaches on the proper way to suck cock and please the male of his Mistress’s choice.
Off he went to the school tattoo office, where his lower back was tattooed with “faggot ass” and an arrow pointing toward—what else, but his faggot man-pussy. I ended up screaming “FAGGOT! FAGGOT” at him, to his satisfaction and gratification.
Are you a loser who needs to be reminded of that fact repeatedly, loudly? Are you in for a treat! Call me and tell me just what a pathetic mess you are, and I’ll make sure you never forget it.
You can call me!
1-888-282-3089 $2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum Have your credit or debit card ready when you call.
The caller was looking for a fantasy, not reality. He didn’t want a Mistress to tell him what to do to himself. He wanted to play out a fantasy.
He described himself in detail. I like guys who can get descriptive. It makes for a more elaborate fantasy when two people are conjuring it up together. Well, that cute British accent didn’t hurt.
He was not into pain, necessarily, but he was into caning. Forced bi. Cbt and castration, but he wasn’t one of those “ball-removal” guys who is fantasizing about being made into a girl. He was looking to get his balls completely crushed in the fantasy.
Hmm, a student gets called into the Principal’s office. He is told his crime—staring at the cleavage of the girl in the next seat—and made to strip naked, standing against the wall. He gets stripes on his ass, and is told to sit in a chair, where he is fastened in place. The seat of the chair opens, and his nutsack gets nailed to the backboard. After teasing him and telling him that the determination had been made that we would have to eliminate his balls to get him to focus on his education, I put some pressure on those balls, using my shoe.
In comes the gym teacher, who is planning on making our hapless student his bitch boy. He whips out his huge black cock and, between the two of us we make sure that the experience is satisfying—for the gym teacher, anyway. Then I put the spike heel of my shoe on his balls and slowly crush them until they are destroyed.
We unshackle him—he can hardly move now—bend him over my desk and rape his ass, while waiting for the nurse to come to bandage him up and the custodian to clean up the mess. What fun!
You can call me!
1-888-282-3089 $2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum Have your credit or debit card ready when you call.
“hey cat dick! you can make it much bigger, what are you waiting for?”
Really, now. The title was great. The rest, however, was a major letdown. The text of the mail was some sort of quasi-political drivel which was only there to keep from setting off the spam filters. I guess the sales pitch was in that image attached to the email. Didn’t look.
By the way, I’m getting tired of spam sent by idiots. Supposed women who want to be my pen pal but are sending the solicitation from an account with a man’s name, and emails from women who have enlarged their penii by 3 inches…to email titles that say the way to get a woman to give a blow job is to have a cock so large she would choke on it. Reality check time, guys. You have to earn that blow job. Being a fucking jerk isn’t gonna cut it. So cool it and learn yourself how to treat a lady, and maybe she won’t cut off your pathetic little cat dick and wee kitty balls in your sleep.
You can call me!
1-888-282-3089 $2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum Have your credit or debit card ready when you call.
A very bad boy came into my office today. He had a history, you see. A while back he’d been caught sucking cock repeatedly, and finally he’d been sent to the horse farm where there were no males, only cruel dommes. But somehow he’d managed to get caught…
The caller was looking for a fantasy, not reality. He didn’t want a Mistress to tell him what to do to himself. He wanted to play out a fantasy. 
“hey cat dick! you can make it much bigger, what are you waiting for?”